My plans for the near future.

1. I plan on being honest.
Even if my honesty isn't the answer someone is looking for, or even rude- I cannot hold it back any longer. There is this woman on Facebook who keeps pestering me about my art. What mediums do you use? What about an art show in NYC? I think it sounds great! You should let me run it for you! Oh my God! please, just leave me alone~. I don' even have enough pieces for my own gallery, plus all my works are on scrappy pieces of paper. I have to tell her, in a nice way, that I cannot accept.

2. I plan on becoming healthy.
I don't eat right or exercise but I have managed to keep the same weight since the 8th grade (15 years old). I have done karate and I threw Javelin in high school. I have been active, until now. I want to changed my body for the better. I don't want to be pencil thin, or have those 'killer' abs everyone wants. I want to fit in a size 8 jeans without any problem, and just have better health in general. I eat junk food often because I find myself bored and I don't know what to do. Though, I have discovered I eat less when I play online MMO's. I don't want to walk away from the screen, therefore I eat less. I need to become active physically.

3. I plan to do well in school.
This will be my second semester of my Freshman year of college. Our winter break was about a month long, and I am really struggling with getting back on track. I say I need to do well, and to do my work before it's due- but that hasn't happened yet. I have missed several assignments in my Composition class, which isn't necessarily good. This semester and for the rest of my college career, I need to take seriously and work hard. That's the only way I can make it through and do a decent job. I can't slack off anymore. This needs to happen.

I can't be a bum anymore and I need to pull myself away from the computer. This device has allowed me to be lazy and entertaining at the same time. I want to be a productive individual that does things for her greater good. I want to sit outside and paint, I want to go out on the town, I want to be free. This computer pulls me to it, and wont let me go.

So today i was informed that one of our D&D members decided to leave the group. why you ask? because of me. apparently i hurt his feelings sooo much that he couldn't be part of the group anymore and suggested that we took the game elsewhere (not in his/our DM's house). This is the second person i can scared off. well, not actually scare them... but you know what i mean. i told our DM that i wont take back what i said, but i proposed an idea. i would leave so he could play (in a group who will son fall appart because i left) and i would sit at home on saturdays and wonder how the campaigne is going.

the thing that bothers me... is that two people have fallen victims to my anger and refuse to have anything to do with me. for all my life my parents told me how wonderful of a child i was, how nice and curtious i was. guess that doesnt apply anymore. i am a failure at many things. but... i think i am just full of self pitty. i gave up something i really loved doing, for a boy who can't seem to learn manners and to not be rude to others. i should have stayed... but it would have been the wrong thing to do. i'm just sad that the only day i go out with friends wont exist anymore.

Dungeons and Dragons was the only get together i had with my friends, lately. i dont go out unless my boyfriend invites me out. other then that.... i have a whole lot of nothing.

So, i ventured to Mr. Wimberg's funeral home today. it's very, VERY impressive. he was really nice to me, and i was so nervous. i shouldn't of been, but i was none the less. he spoke to me about schooling, and that ACCC was a fantastic school and that i should go to MCCC for the whole four years. "invest in education" he told me. so, i just might. he told me about the different branches and all; i think i want to go into the more cosmetic line of the business.

anyway, i was pretty happy with today (so far). it's only 2:30-ish so, i still have a while left of the day. if anything else happens, i shall let you know :)